Xoxo, Kat

Dear Frank,

Did you know that you are on the Bachelorette? Wikipedia says: the Bachelorette "is a spin-off" of the American competitive reality dating game show, The Bachelor.  Key words Frank - GAME SHOW.  As in...You. Will. Have. Competition.  

Did you know that there were 24 other men all there to also date your precious Ali? Did you think that ABC was going to pull a major twist - eeny meeny miny mo - We pick Ali to date Frank and only Frank.   Wrong.  So even though ABC has put out some spoiler teasers out there, and I am annoyed that you make it to Tahiti ,I have some advice - Suck it up Frank. You signed up for this shit, now stop your whining.

xoxo, Kat

Dear Vienna,

Even though Jake was so so so mean to you on national television and he will now have the Womack & Mesnick syndrome...which happens any time a Bach does something none rainbows and kittens, you still drive me crazy. I really do hope that you stick to your word said to my dearest Chris Harrison and put a plug on all of this and on being in the spot light.  I am ready to only think of Vienna Sausages when hearing your name.

xoxo, Kat



Dear Jake, 

Golly Gee Jake, WTF happened to you? You started out so.... throw-up-in-my-mouth-wholesome. And now your teeth clenching and fist tightening made last night so awkward that I am just not sure what to think. Best of luck finding a girl out there that doesn't watch the show.

xoxo, Kat







Dear ABC,

You are a sneaking one, aren't you??? I was so angry with you that last week when you gave a teaser and previewed to all of us who would be making to the final 3. But oh no, ABC. You were sneaky. Just like Crutch Master Justin sneaking up to the Ali's place, or Vienna sneaking to Jake's bed in the castle...you slipped in Ty's voice-over, making us all who pay attention to hair color and accents during your teasers each week, think that he was definitely in the F-I-N-A-L-S. Very Clever ABC.

xoxo, Kat


Dear My Dearest Chris Harrison, 

What the hell was that Tie??  It looked like Barney puked out a polka dot bikini.  Seriously.  Let's put that one away.  
Ps...I still Heart You. 

xoxo, Kat

ps...does anyone else read "Xoxo, Kat" as if I was The Gossip Girl?!?!  Or am I the only one that watches the show??  (Add that to my list of - I am deep down a 14 year old girl.)

3 comments:

  1. LOL - I mentioned Brad Womack in my post this week too... but in a slightly different context. :-)

    And Frank, wow, there are no words.

     
  2. OH my gosh that tie! I even twittered about it directly to Chris Harrison. HA.

     
  3. Kat, this is too funny and true. And to think, I used to just love Vienna. Ok, I got my daily lie out. YUCK, she is so NASTY. Jake is the biggest GOOFBALL.

     
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