Kat's Playbook

Kiss me, kiss me not, kiss me, kiss me not.
Dear Elizabeth,
I was a fan of you on the first episode when you brought the football out and showed your spiral.  Because well...I'm a football girl, duh.  Who else has their wedding reception at the Bronco's stadium?!?  And yes, I too was intrigued by you blue eyes and mysterious personality.  And then you started to get a little crazy.  Were you perhaps roommates with Michele?  Because there were so many different "switches" and I just don't know if you knew which one was "on".  The more and more you asked if Jake wanted to kiss you (or not kiss you, or maybe kiss you), the more awkward it became...even just to watch.  Those blue eyes quickly turned into the eyes of a siren.  And no...not Siren from American Gladiator...the dangerous Sirens from Greek Mythology.  Either way...I think we were ALL confused.

Dear Vienna,
There are many things that come to my mind when I hear your name:  Annoying, weird, goofy eye, a little white trash and sausage!  I'm sure you were named after the beautiful Austrian Village, but I choose to think of the canned meat.  And just like no one wants to eat canned meat, looks like none of the girls want to be around you.  Your spiderman kiss was so cheesy. I don't think I can talk about your one on one any more, because basically I would rather not start my day with gagging.

Dear Michele, 
Oh honey.  You are desperate and in every way.  The next time you are on a date, try to avoid going on about how much you want a husband and grandbabies without mentioning the man you are actually talking to.  Try to lay off the death stares when someone else is talking to your "man"...because its really creepy.  And really try not to yell at him for the pitiful kiss that you finally got. You may just need to rethink a few things.  Like perhaps schedule a little one on one time with a local therapist.


My shout outs:
Ali - You were my front runner from the beginning.  And I think you still are.  You let the claws out and will have some haters, but hey...I like it!  Maybe because my claws come out and it makes me feel better you are not so cute and perfect. 
Kathryn - I think you are makin your way up there...and I think your name rocks  ;)
Gia - You are slowly warming up to me.  I unfortunately judged your injected lips to be fake and now changing my mind. 
Tenley - You are still the perfect Disney princess to me, but I think that is perfect for Golly Gee Jake.
Corrie - Hilarious impressions.  However, I would have liked to see your Michele.
Ashleigh - dry those tears girlfriend, and you can always win it with the blonde jokes.
Ella - Please tell me the show had your permission to fly your boy out??  And cute necklace.
Jessie - I'm sorry, Who??

And here's Chris Harrison's blog for the week.  Marky Mark, you ain't lying...this season the most dramatic season yet!

Posted in: Reality TV, Red Carpet Madness, The Bach on Tuesday, January 19, 2010 at