Showing posts with label Only a Mother Would Say. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Only a Mother Would Say. Show all posts

We Have Recovered from GAFT

I have previously mentioned that Mr. T suffers from GAFT.  Yes, the God Awful F*cking Threes.  I know this sounds harsh, but for anyone that had a smooth sailing "Terrible Two's", I believe GAFT is more accurate for the third year.  However, just today, I believe that I can proudly say that Mr. T. has fully recovered.  

My evidence --> He completely put himself to bed.  Now this doesn't sound like a big task, but for a three year old, especially mine, taking his day nap is the end of the world.  It is a battle every day and he cries every time about how much he does not like or does not need his "day-naps".  All I can think and say back is....Oh honey...you need it.  The best scenario is if I can bribe him with him seeing his Little Buddy Paul once he gets up.  See...they are too cute and I'm sure that bribe would work on anyone, however, it is not possible every time.  

But today, as I was putting clothes away in my closet....I heard his music start up.  I just assumed that because he was so darn quiet that he was surely getting into something.  When I walked in....he had tucked himself in and was already asleep.  Seriously.  Asleep.  All on his own!!!  GAFT is no longer.  I might be jinxing myself here, but this is a huge step in our little word.  

Another milestone worth mentioning...he can now wipe his own ass.  Yes.  For parents, this is a huge milestone.  Better write that one down in the baby book.  1/3/13 = Can wipe his own ass and put himself to sleep.  Big day.   

Posted in: , , , on Thursday, January 3, 2013 at 1 comments  

GAFT: The Check Out System

During our GAFT episodes, I have realized the following:

You MUST (and I repeat MUST) have a "Check Out System".  I am not sure when Gator Guy and I officially started our Check Out System, but it is the only thing that keeps us sane. 

The Check Out System is when one parent is struggling like hell getting Mr. T to calm down and in turn getting frustrated, angry, upset or any other emotion we don't want Mr. T to do.  The other parent gives a look, a tap on the shoulder, or even verbally says "time to check out".  At that moment, parent #1 walks away... usually making no eye contact.  My preferred method is verbally while Gator Guy gives the look.  Fitting.


This works for us because it makes us realize that we are not alone, we BOTH get frustrated and it is not good for any parties involved if the parent is too worked up.  We've all been there...you raise your voice at the toddler to make that point that they should not yell or scream.  Makes sense, right?  Hell no.  That's damn confusing for the little ones.   So the Check Out System is a necessity. 
Now,  if the Check Out System is not available where either both parents are so fired up to handle the situation or you are alone, then is it time to implement the Parent Time Out.  I remember using this one when Mr. T was just a babe and wouldn't stop crying.  I felt like a terrible mother that I had to sit in the bathroom downstairs with the door closed just to have a moment to breathe.  But it is what kept me sane.  A fellow Yogi reminded me of this technique this week.  She would say to her little one, "Honey, it is time for Mama to have a time out."  That is correct.  Mama needs a time out!!  Mr. T may be confused and he may just continue to cry it out, but the Mama Timeout already has served us well. 
Plus it gives me the perfect opportunity to pour a glass of brew.  Don't Judge.

Posted in: , , , , , on Thursday, July 12, 2012 at 25 comments  

GAFT: Round 2

GAFT continues to overpower us as of late.  And I wish there was a magic potion or something to relieve it.  I suppose if there was, we would have a million kids and no use for Mama Happy Hour. 

This week has been hard.  Perhaps we are STILL recovering from our awesome trip to Disneyland (post to come), or perhaps it is just the GAFT (God Awful Fucking Three's).  Either way, it is difficult. 

How are parents suppose to cope??  What solutions actually work???


We have tried the following:
1.  Firm rules
2.  Timeout
3.  Distractions
4.  Taking away beloved toys
5.  Bribery
6.  Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
7.  Cry it out
8.  Cars2
9.  Music
10.  Back rubs
11.  Food
12.  Water break

I am sure some of the expert parents in the world laugh at my list and see that the main thing lacking is consistency.  Whatever.  Screw you expert parents, because this shit can be hard. 

What eventually calmed down the most recent episode of GAFT was some Magic Music.  I explained to Mr. T that when he was a baby, I would play for him two very special songs and it would calm him down.  I have no idea how he heard me with all that screaming, but he was intrigued and wanted to hear the tunes.  So I played a remake of Bridge Over Troubled Waters by Quincy Coleman and Sweet Sweet Baby by Michelle Featherstone.  Worked like a charm....at least this time.  And I will store the Magic Music in my GAFT back pocket. 

Posted in: , , , , , on Wednesday, July 11, 2012 at 1 comments  

GAFT: The God Awful Effing Three's

My boss once told me, "Screw the terrible 2's.  That's nothing.  It is the God-Awful-Fucking-Three's that is the real problem."  I remember laughing at him and recorded the quote in "Shit My Boss Says".  Yet another use for google docs  ;)

The other day I was reminded of my boss's quote. 

This is Mr. T after hysterically crying and throwing tantrums just about ALL FREAKING DAY. 

And YES...that is a PUDDLE OF PEE that he is sitting in.  It totally reminded me of when he smeared shit all over his crib.  I don't know which is worse.  A part of me felt bad that I took the picture, but all ready he says, "that's the day I was BAD."  Yes Mr. T, we all need to remind ourselves to not throw a fit and pee ourselves. 
And so, I officially introduce to you:  GAFT.  The God-Awful-Fucking-Three's.  He's got a seriously case of GAFT and I am just praying that the 4's are easier! 

Posted in: , , , , on Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 2 comments  

Bath Time Conversations

Mama: "He there naked boy.  How was bath time?"
Mr. T:  "My Good.  Shark bite my penis."


Its comments like this that may end my extreme and ridiculous fear of sharks. 

Posted in: , , on Thursday, July 14, 2011 at 2 comments  

Spotted Mr. T

 These pictures just break my heart.  But the good news, is Mr. T is just fine.  We noticed a small rash on his belly yesterday....and it took quite the turn today.

Other good news... he is not itchy and does not have a fever.  Phew!!  No chicken pox here!!  Gator Guy took him into today and the Doc says to just give him benadryl (which makes him super hyper btw), and to just give it time.
I do have to say that we have been so lucky....in Mr. T's first two years, we only had to take him in once other than the regular check ups.  Now since he turned the big 2 only two weeks ago...we have doubled that amount and I am hoping that this is the end!!  I know he is ok, but it's amazing how much I just could not focus at work today knowing that he was not himself.  But then I see that he can still be the cutest boy ever and it just makes everything better!! 

Posted in: , , , on Monday, April 4, 2011 at 3 comments  

Instant Messaging with Gator Guy

Monday I stayed home with a sick Mr. T.  Yesterday, it was Gator Guy's turn.  Here's our conversation on Google chat.  I would say our chat has definitely changed since our cute notes passed in high school or our flirty texts in college.  
 
Gator Guy:  Worst diaper ever

Kat:  haha, sorry!
         Actually....not really


Gator Guy:  Thanks
                      Looked like a big mess of pesto
                      But smelled like a sulfur plant

Kat:  Gross bubby.  Did not need the detailed description.
          How to you feel about yourself for typing that one out???

Gator Guy:  Pretty Damn Good. 
                     Boom.

Yes...he ends many thoughts with "boom".

Posted in: , , , on Wednesday, March 30, 2011 at 0 comments  

Must Haves: For the Sick Toddler

1.  Vicks Vapor Humidifier - Gator Guy picked this one up at Walmart yesterday and it is a life savor!!  The humidifier works great and adds the vicks vapor in the air.  Its pretty cheap too, so I definitely recommend this one. 















2.  Popsicles - Nothing soothes a sore throat better! 





3.  Big Boy Cups - Mr. T was not excited about drinking liquids, but once we let him drink from a big boy water bottle or cup...he was on track to hydration! 


















4.  Children's Ibuprofen - Definitely a must have to keep that fever down!!   Now I just wish they had cough drops or medicine for a two year old.


5.  Pancakes - Ok, we tried everything.  Jell-o, pudding, soup, smoothie....just about anything that we could think of to get Mr. T to eat.  But then he finally asked for pancakes...so why the hell not! 

6.  Towel as a Pillow - When I was little, my mom would put a towel over my pillow and tell me that it would make me feel better.  I am sure it was to help with all the drooling, snot, and possible vomit.  Now a days, I use this tip even when suffering from the Irish Flu and thought Mr. T should give it a try.  














7.  Mickey Mouse Playhouse - When I am sick, I watch "Friends" and classic chick flicks like "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" and "Can't Buy Me Love".  When Mr. T is sick....it's ALL about Mickey.  All  Mickey...ALL day long.

Posted in: , , on Sunday, March 27, 2011 at 4 comments  

Great Motherly Advice


I was just venting and complaining to my dear mother, and her response was:

Well honey, sometimes life just sucks.

And then she said, "Isn't that great motherly advice?!?"  
Why yes it is Mum.
Yes it is. 

Posted in: , on Monday, March 7, 2011 at 1 comments  

Now it's Mommy

It's official.  My little baby isn't a baby any more.  I know he's been a toddler for some time now and he will celebrate his 2nd birthday in a matter of weeks.  But yesterday he called me Mommy and it just broke my heart.  To him, I was always Mama.  And every time he said Mama, it just melted my heart.  (Even when it was repeated over and over and over and over.)

Why is this such a heartbreaker??  Because Mommy is just one step closer to Mom.  And then closer to Mother.  And then he will soon be a teenager and calling me by my real name or what ever word comes to mind, or maybe even nothing at all.  Whoa....slow down time.  Please!!!  Because I just can't handle my little baby to grow up so fast!!!

Posted in: , , on Friday, February 25, 2011 at 5 comments  

From Toots to Trains

Tooting.  It's completely a guy thing (ok maybe not only guys...but for this conversation, its a guy thing).  Yes, I am talking about farts.  But little did I know...it's completely a toddler boy thing too!!  It has now been months that Mr. T will give an extra push when we change his diaper and laugh hysterically about it. 


Even better is when both Mr. T and Gator Guy laugh hysterically when the toot is released during a bath and accompanied by a bubble.  Hilarious (to those two at least).  

And it has been a while now that Mr. T has to announce when he toots.  Every time, he smiles and says "TOOT".  However, the latest train of thought (pun intended) is that Toot sounds a lot like Choo Choo.  


So Now...When Mr. T gives that extra push, bubble in the bath, or just lets out a toot naturally, he yells out "Choo Choo Train!! Choo Choo Train"  Pretty darn Funny I must say myself! 

Posted in: , , on Friday, January 14, 2011 at 3 comments  

Twenty-Nine Today

Today I am closing in on the end of my twenties.  Today is the big 2-9.  And so...here are 29 fun facts you can learn about me.
  1. I get the hiccups every morning
  2. I pronounce "espresso" as "expresso"
  3. I love any movie with Hilary Duff
  4. I sing "On the Road Again" in my head every time I start my car
  5. I can do a mad running man
  6. My favorite drink is 5 Barrel by Odell
  7. I sing to Mr. T "Goodnight My Someone" from Music Man every night
  8. I often dance in front of the mirror when no one else is home
  9. My all time favorite movie is Gladiator
  10. I have not watched a NBA game in over 10 years
  11. I sometimes weigh myself before and after going to the bathroom (so does Gator Guy...we are awesome)
  12. I sleep with a retainer and eye mask
  13. I was voted Best School Spirit in High School (and 2nd in Best Rump)
  14. I love the PBR and secretly wish I was a bull rider
  15. I am terrified of sharks, even on TV
  16. I hate scary movies, and can't watch the previews
  17. My "when I'm sick" movie is Sweet Home Alabama
  18. I am addicted to Blistex Lip Medex chapstick
  19. I drive a dodge durango, and in high school told Gator Guy that that was my "dream car"
  20. I write messages or "to dos" on my mirror with a dry eraser marker
  21. I once fought a Mom at a high school volleyball game
  22. I have actually tried to send emails and facebook messages to Tim Tebow about meeting in person
  23. I once peed my pants during a 5k race...and kept running
  24. My most played song on my iPod is Lynyrd Skynyrd - Tuesday's Gone and tied for second is Journey - Don't Stop Believing & Billy Ocean - Get Out of My Dreams, Get into My Car.
  25. I only chew a half of piece of gum, and call it "halfers" (which Gator Guy hates)
  26. I once ate two Chipotle burritos in one setting...for a bet
  27. I am currently wearing pink pajama pants with reindeer...my 10 year old niece has a matching pair
  28. I sleep walk, talk, kick, punch, or some other activity in my sleep at least once a week.  Poor Poor Gator Guy.
  29. I woke up today to beautiful flower and cards from Gator Guy and Mr. T. 

Posted in: , , on Wednesday, December 8, 2010 at 8 comments  

Emergency Text to Gator Guy

 "Oh dear lord.  I just walked into Mr. T's room to see that he has smeared poop all over his crib."


Its true.  My cute little monster....is well, now a poop monster.  There really isn't too much else to say.  Smeared poop describes it best. 
I'm not sure if this is all related, but this happened after a nap where I showed Mr. T the "Broken Binky".  You know, the one where you cut off the tip of the binky to show that the paci's are broken and need to go Bye Bye.   (Don't worry girls, I think it's still a great idea)  Well, he sure showed me.


Can I at least share my silver lining??? Last night was Night One of Operation Bye Bye Binky.  And it was flawless.  A few tears at the beginning, but nothing we couldn't handle and only for 2 minutes. 

Little did I know that I would be cleaning the little angel's shit for over an hour the next day. 

Posted in: , , on Sunday, November 21, 2010 at 7 comments  

Operation Bye Bye Binky


I remember when I was so happy that Mr. T would take his paci, binky, or "Beday" as he now calls it.  It was our moment of silence.  Yes...I fully admit...it was a plug.  But it definitely helped him soothe which was our savior.  I can't complain having a little one  sleep through the night at 8 weeks.  But look at him...he was just so tiny and small then!!

But not too long ago, we were out to dinner with friends and we all saw what looked to be a six year old sitting at the table with a Binky in his mouth.  I mean, the kid could cut his own steak, but still needed that pacifier.  I know I know...all parents are different, but for me...no thank you.

And so, it is operation Bye Bye Binkie.  Any thoughts on a plan?? So far I have the following:

Plan A:  Cut the Binky out Cold Turkey over the holidays while we are home more and there's tons of excitement & new toys. 

Plan B:  Wait until Mr. T's 2nd Birthday (March 2011).  Make a big deal of it, either a little goodbye moment or explain about the Binky Fairy. 

Plan C:  Take it tonight...just because.

Plan D:  Let Mr. T have it for as long and as many years as he wants.  Maybe his first girlfriend will dig it. 

What has worked for everyone else?  Any brilliant ideas??

Posted in: , on Friday, November 19, 2010 at 4 comments  

Best. Text. Ever.

As I was heading last Friday to meet my dearest e at the park for some play time with our little ones, I received this text:

"Do you want me to bring you a roadie beer?"

This is why we are friends.  She is brilliant. 

Posted in: , , on Monday, October 18, 2010 at 3 comments  

Can You Believe It??

This little man is 18 months today!! 

And now, let me take a moment here and show off his cuteness:

Posted in: , , on Monday, September 20, 2010 at 7 comments  

September comes with mixed emotions

Happy - Its my favorite month of the year.  Cooler weather, but no need for coats and scarves just yet.  Starts off with a Holiday weekend and includes the celebration of mine and Gator Guy's Wedding (and dating) anniversary.  And starts the beginning of the beautiful fall colors!!
 
Anticipation - September of Twenty-Ten is one of my busiest months between work, home, and everything else I have involved myself in.  And so, I take a deep breath and get ready rock it. 


Stressed - Because I am crazy, I am planning my HS reunion.  I have a great committee working with me, but if the event turns out crappy, I'm definitely the one everyone can send their hate mail to.


On the edge of my seat - In case you can't tell, I love football.  I love the Broncos.  I love the Gators. And I love Tebow.  (I even had a dream that Tebow & I were on a date. I was annoyed because everyone wanted his autograph and we couldn't have privacy.  This obsession of mine is becoming ridiculous!)  But either way, I cannot freaking wait for this football season to kick off.  It will start with a bang with the Rocky Mt Showdown of CSU vs CU this Saturday.  Go Rams!!! 

In need of cuteness - With the reunion and the wedding of one of my BFFs coming up I need some super cute and cheap dresses to wear.  I actually think I am going to hit up Forever 21 first.  Because yes, I am 21 at heart. 


Shedding - That's right.  The Shed was my plan to lose the 50 lbs Mr T. so graciously gifted to me.  And since I was sucessful (Woohoo) in that effort, its time to revisit some of that methodology to get that body to a level of  oh-so-confident.  Why?  Three reason: 1) Reunion  2) BFFs Wedding  3) HAWAII


Sad - I can't even begin to count how many times I said, "We should get together this summer" to all my favorite friends.  And here we are, closing in on the end of summer holiday weekend, and none of those summer plans worked out.  Now its, "Let's get together this football season." 


Hopeful - I seem to have so much on my plate that I am just hopeful that I will get through it all and end the month with a bang...on the beach in Hawaii


Determined - Damn straight I am going to get through it all and not only complete my "To Dos", but Rock 'em.  Because well.....I rock. 

Posted in: , , , , , , , on Wednesday, September 1, 2010 at 1 comments  

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