Showing posts with label The Bach. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Bach. Show all posts

Bachelor Pad - We Need to Talk

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Dear Bachelor Pad, 
 
I know this may come as a shock to you, and I will first apologize for catching you off guard...but we need to talk.  We have been through a lot.  I have watched every season and even made it though Vienna's debut without throwing up in my mouth.  You have captured my attention over the summer when there are meaningless shows such as Wipe Out and America's Got Talent.  You were my fix when I was missing the traditional Bachelor and Bachelorette.  And you gave me Chris Harrison when I was just starting to begin withdraws from his presence.  But even after all of that...I have to be honest and tell you that we just cannot be together anymore.  I just can't do it.
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And no, it is not just a break for us to see other people.  This is it for me.  I seriously cannot do it anymore.  Gosh....even just saying that now gives me a sense of relief.  I am becoming a person that I never thought I would.  Your commitment of 2 hours is just too long for me now.  Maybe it is that I am more busy these days and have not made time for you.  Maybe it is my love for Ryan Lotche and the Olympics that I can't seem to pull myself from NBC another channel.  But honestly, this season is a disappointment.  I wish I could have my 2 hours back in my day.  I know you are even more dramatic than ever, but its just not how it used to be.  
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Don't even get me started with the twins.  Michael said it best comparing them to mosquitoes in your ear.  It is either that or their fighting is the sound of dying cats.  I would rather listen to Radiohead on repeat for the rest of my life than listen to those two girls again (and Gator Guy can vouch for how serious that is for me!).  

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And then Chris was the final straw for me.  There's always the top Dawg each season and Chris is trying to be just that.  At least before I could just feel bad for Kasey that his kermit voice and outrageous tattoos made him "special".  But with Chris...I just can't get past it.  It is bad enough that I just had to finish watching him on Emily's season.  I think I would need at least a month before seeing him on Monday nights again...if ever.  It's the way he talks, the way he thinks so highly of himself, his immaturity (oh wait - that's everyone on the show, right?) and his constipated-or-about-to-fall-asleep-face expressions that just confirms I cannot be with you any longer.   

I will miss our good times.  But I really feel good about this decision.  
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And so, Bachelor Pad...I am sorry, but I cannot give you this rose.  Please allow me to walk you out.

xoxo, 

Kat

Posted in: , on Tuesday, July 31, 2012 at 0 comments  

Ryan: Born and Raised in the Capitol

I can't take credit for this...in fact, you must go read, "If You Ask Me...", but it is quite hilarious that she pointed out how much Ryan looks like Seneca Crane from Hunger Games.  Ha!

My favorite line of the night was when he begged the camera guys to edit the clips to show his "true self" and not make him look like an ass.  

To late Ryan.  Too late.
Ps Ryan...your scarf sucks.  So did your teal shoes.

Posted in: , on Tuesday, June 19, 2012 at 2 comments  

I Don't Want to Wait...For Our Lives to be Over

Ready....Queue in the music.


Yes, I could not help myself by secretly wishing Chris Harrison would queue in Paula Cole's "I Don't Want to Wait" as James Van Der Beek Bachelor Joe was on his date with Emily last week.  I mean seriously...this dude is like a long lost twin, younger brother or some sort of twisted version of Dawson himself.  These picture may not do it justice, but I swear even watching him talk just made me think that Joey Potter was going to come around the corner with her constipated smile wanting Dawson back in her life. 

Dawson/James Van Der Beek

Bachelor Joe

Either way, I shall be watching tonight as Em has to decide between which douche bag she will keep and which she will say farewell to.

PS...is there seriously an Alejandro and Alessandro???  Come on ABC, you couldn't have one of these dudes go by Alex or even Sandros??   Not to mention, both of them look like they are growing facial hair for the first time in their life.  Come on guys, hop off the Mustache May wagon, because is not a good look for you.
 Alejandro
Alessandro

Posted in: , on Monday, May 28, 2012 at 0 comments  

Freestyling

I have to be very careful tomorrow and avoid any spoilers as I did not get to watch Geico CaveMan Ben and his horrible decisions on the Bach.  I can only ponder about the past episodes and how disappointed I have been.  

In the meantime...I shall laugh at this.  And perhaps dedicate it to our freestylin bachelorette. I love you someecards.com.  Love. 


Posted in: , on Monday, February 27, 2012 at 0 comments  

The Chain of Bachelor Love

Today it was announced (or at least released by someone) that Emily is the new Bachelorette. 


I am quite excited to see Emily again.  However, as I was discussing the big news during my "plan" period today, I realized what a chain of Bach's we have.  And I feel I can only describe this if I draw it out.  Please note....I of course choose to do this on the day that wikipedia is shut down and therefore, I cannot find a resource to double check my answers. So please feel free to correct anything that I may have missed.  

Here we go.

We started with Brad.   

Who in fact did not pick anyone and rejected both Deanna and Jenni...shocking the entire nation with the most dramatic rose ceremony yet.
 
Next ABC started The Chain of Bachelor Love and gave dear Deanna another chance. 

She picked Jesse and lived a short relationship.  I think she is now married to one of the twins from Jillian's season...but we can't go there right now. 

More importantly, Deanna introduced us to Jason.

And Jason introduced us to the Mesnick.  The Mesnick you may ask is when an adult man keels over crying on national TV.  Repeatedly.

In a moment of pity, ABC picked Jason as the next "Chosen One".  He in turn showed us more Mesnick Moments and finally picked Melissa...

BUT WAIT.  He then changed his mind to pick Molly in the most dramatic After The Rose Ceremony Show ever!! 
They are now married and join the club with Trista and Ryan (the first and really only lasting couple in Bachelor history). 


Back to Jason's season....Jillian, not exactly the runner up since Jason had to claim them BOTH, was the funny down-to-earth Canadian and was announced the next Bachelorette.  

She picked this guy...totally don't remember anything about him.  Did they last?  No Clue. 

But most importantly, out of her season we meet Jake. 

Jake falls fast for American Sweet Heart Ali as the entire nation throws up in their mouth over Vienna.  However, in the end, Golly-Gee-Jake picks Vienna.  

We continue to see their terrible relationship unfold during the most awkward break up ever seen on television.  ABC producers were in heaven.   

But like a ray of sunshine....America's Sweet Heart Ali takes the stage to find her man.   

She picks the hot baseball player, Roberrrrrto.  They are apparently married, but I not caught up on all that gossip yet.  What did the dress look like?  When?  Where??  Tell me!!  (E - is this in one of your magazines that we must read over a glass of wine??)

It was at this point that ABC BROKE THE CHAIN....or Did they???  Instead of giving us Frank or some other dork from Ali's season, they brought back Slow Talking BRAD.  You See....It's always back the BRAD.  

Brad picks America's NEW Sweet Heart Emily and they begin what appears to be their happy ending.  
In the meantime, rejected Tiny and Boring Ashley gives us a season where I thanked God for DVR so I could fast forward through any time where she babbled on.  

Tiny and Boring Ashley finally picks JP...although she seems to talk more about Bentley than anyone else.  (Best Drinking Game Ever)  

The runner up to Tiny and Boring Ashley was our current Bachelor Geico Caveman Ben.  Ben is very blah to me but slowly is starting to warm up.  He does however continue to smooch a LOT of ladies (must have taken notes from Bachelor Bob).  Either way....we shall see how this one plays out. 

And as of today....we are back to Emily. 

So really....now that I think about it and lay it all out, it is not a chain at all.  It is just a crazy web of non-lasting Love.  Well damn. Either way, I hope you could follow along and either learn a thing or two about the Chain of Bachelor Love, or perhaps take a trip down Monday Night Memory Lane. 

Posted in: , , , on Wednesday, January 18, 2012 at 5 comments  

Ten Thoughts for the Weekend

1.  The Broncos beat the Steelers!!!!  What an amazing game!!  And with an 80-yard touch down pass from my Boy Tebow to DThomas!!! Unbelievable!! 

denverpost.com

nytimes.com

2.  I might have shed a tear (or at least complained as much as possible) as I had to give up my ticket to today's game because I was sick.  Ladies and Gents...that means I was siiiiccckkk.  Not just a cough.  Because not to see my BFF Tebow in person and in action....heartbreaking!!  But at least I was warm in my Bronco Snuggie. 

3.  I finished my first week as a student teacher and absolutely love it.  Still working on learning 170 student names and lesson planning, but I already know that it is all worth and where I am suppose to be.

4.  I am quite excited for this season's Bachelor with Geico Man Ben the Bach.  He is growing on me...as is the drama that ABC always provides.  Looks like we have some villains who like to skinny dip and continued drama with the blogger!  Fantastic. 

5.  I also watched the latest Pretty Little Liars this weekend.  Seriously, it is not to late to watch this one with all the other 14 year-olds.  I am just pleased to know that one of my dearest neighbors is also a PLL fan and I am not the only 30 year-old that indulges in the flick. 


6.  I keep having dreams this weekend about anchors falling on my head.  What does this mean???

7.  Every day this week I drove less than 3 minutes to work and LOVED it.  I even didn't buckle my seat belt for one of the trips and felt like such a rebel!!  (I know...I know.  Most accidents happen close to your house.  I promise it was my only time!).  Just what am I going to do with 2 hours of commuting back in my life???  Yoga? Perhaps cook a week day dinner for the first time in over a year!?  The possibilities are endless. 

8.  I had much needed drinks with my Dearest E this weekend.  We just talked for hours about anything and everything.  We gave each other encouragement, asked questions, and basically reassured ourselves that we are effing fabulous.  Gator Guy doesn't understand that we can just sit on the couch, drink micro brews, and talk.  He and his Bromance Bro instead play darts.  For hours.  Now, that I do not get.

9.  Aside from being sick, I am giddy to go to work tomorrow.  Giddy.  It has been a long time since I have felt that! 

10.  Holy Crap the Broncos won!!!! 


Posted in: , , , , , , , , , , , , on Sunday, January 8, 2012 at 0 comments  

Nutbags...All of Them

As a result of finally watching the shit show that the Bach Pad was this week....I just had to vent with my Dearest M about the complete awfulness and unnecessary tears.  Soooo many damn tears.

And my Dearest M was brilliant enough to say  "Nutbags...all of them!" 

And so, I have decided to honor the crazies (& my Dearest M) and use the term "Nutbags" this weekend.  I think it will be a nice addition to my vocabulary and perhaps it will even make its way into a song as I serenade a crowd at karaoke this evening.  

Effing nutbags.  

Oh and ps....A big congratulations to Nevin Shapiro who receives the ultimate Nutbag Award.  Please read this article if you have not heard about the Miami scandal and to also impress your sports lover with fun facts. But let me just tell you, if you look up the definition of "small man complex", you shall see Nevin's face.  No worries...this dude is already in prison, so no hurt feelings for any brutal comments you make about him.  Let's hear it!  

Posted in: , , , , , on Friday, August 19, 2011 at 1 comments  

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