I remember just after we got the BFP, we headed to the nearest book store to pick out a pregnancy book. Of course, this was all before we started to Spread the Word, so it was a very odd experience. In fact, my crazy paranoid self made us leave the first book store because I saw someone from our High School and the last thing I needed was the rumors a flyin' as we stood in the long aisle of Making-a-Baby books and the news getting to my BFF's before I did! That would be a disaster!! And so...we headed to the next nearest book store.
And there we stood...totally clueless staring at book after book not really knowing what should be included. Mostly just thinking, "well, this baby looks cute, how about this one?"
Another young mom walked up and asked:
"Hi, are you pregnant?"
"Holy crap, you can already tell?!?!" But I really said, "Uhhh, Ummm, Well yes. We just haven't told anyone yet and this is the first time we've said it out loud!" Totally caught us off guard.
But either way, she suggested Your Pregnancy Week by Week. So we snatched it up and headed home to do our "homework". I loved how this book, broke it down by each week and made it very easy to follow. Plus easily gave me an assignment each week. Very helpful. What to Expect When You Are Expecting is great too. But maybe the fact that I was reading a borrowed copy from the 80s is why I steered away.
PS...Husbands will do their best to read up...or at least do as much as you push them. But the best way is to just say, "Hey, stop watching your SportsCenter for two seconds and read this!" If you try putting the book somewhere he might pick it up or hint saying, "sometime you should read this chapter"...you will get nowhere expect for the land of Disappointment. Remember - The blunter the better! Coach McDaniels never put an article in the locker room saying, "Stop being a cry baby". He just suspended or traded the problem children (aka - Cutler and Marshall). See...the blunter the better.
Let's face it...for many of us. having a drink here and there is just part of our social lives. But what about those few weeks or even longer when you have had the BFP, but don't really want to spread the word just yet. You can either One...go into hiding. Hang out with just the hubby, because let's be honest...you will be spending a lot of time together...might as well get use to it. Or two...Be sneaky about it. I did a little bit of both. We found ourselves not really hanging out as much as usual, but I also got creative.
How to hide from your BFF's the BFP:
- O'doul's in a glass - Non alcoholic beer that still looks and tastes just like your average cheep-like-a-PBR beer - And even better when your hubby or someone in the loop can pour it in a glass.
- Peel the label - when you can't pour your O'doul's in another glass, just order a non-alcoholic version of your favorite and peel off the label. Don't most of us peel off those labels anyways?? Or is that just a Freudian issue we should not get into ...
- Tonic water with lime,In a short glass - The key is short glass. If you ask for a non-alcoholic drink you typically get a tall glass that says, "Hey I'm not drinking! Could I get a Shirley Temple with that??" But if you get it in short glass, no one will ever know. (Also a good move to pull when your BFF's have had too much but you don't want to "cut her off just yet". Order the short tonic minus the gin, and they will never know!)
- Tell your BFF's that you are counting calories. Everyone is trying to shed some pounds here and there. So be that girl and start complaining days in advance about how you are feeling fat and want to lose a few. That way, they will not be too surprised when you turn down the 100s of calories in those delicious drinks.
- Training for a race - For those of us runners, we often lay off the booze or cleansing just before a big race. Making this a habit is great for your body, and great for tricking those BFFs.
- Say you are just too hung over from the night before - always throw in some stories about calling Jay Culter a fat kid, taking pictures with cops, or breaking the new mechanical bull record, and they will more than likely believe that you had a rager the night before.
- Avoid the extra olives and pickles. Not necessarily alcohol related, but I know that it was a dead give away for my sister-in-law when I downed a jar of pickles.
- Coke with a lime - Actually adding a lime or garnish in just about anything will make it seem like the real thing.
And I'm still not sure how to order something to fake out your wine drinkers. So please share, if you have any ideas. And Cheers to O'Doul's.
I had so many ideas to make the big announcement...tear jerkers. Ones that would be great to tell our parents and siblings that we were pregnant. I thought of special gifts...like a picture frame that said "Proud Bapa and Grama" just to see that look on their face when they opened it and figured it all out. Instead my big fat mouth just blurted it out.
Many make the big announcement around a family gathering of some sort. I still remember when my cousins stood up at Thanksgiving, held each others hand and said, "We have an announcement to make". We had just made it through the 4th of July (without anyone suspecting that I was drinking non alcoholic beer). And I wasn't going to wait until the next holiday to blurt out the BFP.
But courtesy of nesties from The Bump, I asked around and here are some of the cute ways they spread the word:
- My parents came over to play games Wii. We set up a new player. They asked"who"? We said "the baby."
- I took a cameraphone photo of my BFP test and sent it out.
- I basically just blurted it out when I told people...Being pregnant makes me lazy.
- We made a slideshow. Started out with me planting a "seed" and every "month" a bit of the BFP test would start peeking out of the flower pot.
- We special ordered fortune cookies that said "I predict that in 7 months you will be a grandparent!!
- We got a t-shirt for our dog that says, "I'm a big brother"
- We gave my mom a mothers day card that said, "Cost of Mother's Day Card = $2.50. Gas to drive to parents house = $15.00. The look on your face when you realize you will be Grandparents = Priceless
- I acted like there was a bug in the bathroom... I said, "Honey, I think there's something weird in our bathroom!!!" My husband ran in and saw the BFP test.
That is the big question. Ok, so you have pulled the goalie, gone through Full Force Operation TTC, brought in the referee and have had that BFP. Now the next decision... who to tell, when and how.
Let's be honest, I am a blogger and therefore an open book! And I am a planner...so most of my life is planned out in my playbook. So there was no question at all on whether we would wait until the 2nd trimester to tell. Seriously for me, it was hard to not call everyone up right then and there after the BFP and blurt out that Baby Gapp would be here soon (ha...little did I know that 40 weeks would be the longest of my life).
Who's On First
The order was a no brainer. Step One....Tell Parents (oh wait - of course I already told my dearest husband...so please ladies always have him be Step One. Unless of course you don't know who your baby's daddy is...and well...I just can't help you with that). So now Step Two = Parents. We told my parents first and then the in-laws. Of course they were all so excited...I mean who wouldn't be?!? If we could have a dog as cute as ours, who could imagine just how cute our baby would be!!
Make it Official
Next we made it to our first appointment with the OB. After that it was official. There, up on the screen was a little peanut. Actually, not even a peanut yet, more just a little tiny blob. But he was our tiny blob and it was the most amazing moment of my life up to that point. The OB printed out some keepsake U/S photos and we were off. After that it was maddness. Step 3 = girlfriends. Step 4 = husband's buddies. Step 5 = Tell boss. Dead Last Step 6 = facebook it...which we did wait 12 weeks for that one!
An Oops versus Planned
I had a hard time thinking about this. We all know that if the referee was called in an unplanned emergency, lets say in the good ol' college days, I would have called my girls ASAP crying and bawling my eyes out.
But now, its all planned now and we have to keep it a secret?!? Ryan and I had been envisioning what it would be like with a baby for a while. It was something that we were so happy about and yet we kept it Hush Hush until it was official. And I only waited a couple of weeks!! I know that there are many couples that wait until 12 weeks for the risk of miscarriage to greatly decrease. For me, if that did happen (Thank God that it didn't and we have our little man now), I think I would need the support of all my friends and family. So IMO, no sense in waiting.
Either way, it is a decision that you and your husband make together. Because once the cat is out of the bag and your playbook is made public...you then become everyone's business. Just wait, the tummy rubbing, instant advice, and constant checking up on you will soon begin!