Bachelor Pad - We Need to Talk

Dear Bachelor Pad, 
I know this may come as a shock to you, and I will first apologize for catching you off guard...but we need to talk.  We have been through a lot.  I have watched every season and even made it though Vienna's debut without throwing up in my mouth.  You have captured my attention over the summer when there are meaningless shows such as Wipe Out and America's Got Talent.  You were my fix when I was missing the traditional Bachelor and Bachelorette.  And you gave me Chris Harrison when I was just starting to begin withdraws from his presence.  But even after all of that...I have to be honest and tell you that we just cannot be together anymore.  I just can't do it.

And no, it is not just a break for us to see other people.  This is it for me.  I seriously cannot do it anymore.  Gosh....even just saying that now gives me a sense of relief.  I am becoming a person that I never thought I would.  Your commitment of 2 hours is just too long for me now.  Maybe it is that I am more busy these days and have not made time for you.  Maybe it is my love for Ryan Lotche and the Olympics that I can't seem to pull myself from NBC another channel.  But honestly, this season is a disappointment.  I wish I could have my 2 hours back in my day.  I know you are even more dramatic than ever, but its just not how it used to be.  
Don't even get me started with the twins.  Michael said it best comparing them to mosquitoes in your ear.  It is either that or their fighting is the sound of dying cats.  I would rather listen to Radiohead on repeat for the rest of my life than listen to those two girls again (and Gator Guy can vouch for how serious that is for me!).  

And then Chris was the final straw for me.  There's always the top Dawg each season and Chris is trying to be just that.  At least before I could just feel bad for Kasey that his kermit voice and outrageous tattoos made him "special".  But with Chris...I just can't get past it.  It is bad enough that I just had to finish watching him on Emily's season.  I think I would need at least a month before seeing him on Monday nights again...if ever.  It's the way he talks, the way he thinks so highly of himself, his immaturity (oh wait - that's everyone on the show, right?) and his constipated-or-about-to-fall-asleep-face expressions that just confirms I cannot be with you any longer.   

I will miss our good times.  But I really feel good about this decision.  

And so, Bachelor Pad...I am sorry, but I cannot give you this rose.  Please allow me to walk you out.




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