Breaking Dawn, Here We Come!

I'm heading to the last midnight showing of the Twilight series.  The last chapter.  The last time girls will scream in a theater to Jacob's abs.  The last time girls will gasp at the sight of Edwards glitter.  The last time I will probably ever go to a midnight showing!!! (I'm getting too old for this!!)  

And I'm pretty sure some of my students will be at the same theater.  Hoping to embarrass them as much as I can.  Perhaps a theater crowd wave?  We shall see.  

You Slapped a Fiiiiish

Bad Lip Reading from Edward and Bella....Hilarious!!!

Some Days...

I want to wear this.  Literally curl up in this sweater and just be. 

This is Why I Love my J-O-B!

Jam of the Week: Imagine Dragons - It's Time

I am obsessed with "It's Time" by Imagine Dragons.  Obsessed.  Luckily I can play it for each passing period and only my neighbors will get sick of it.

First Day of School

I am officially a teacher.  And it feels damn good.

And thanks to my dearest e, I plan to read this quote to my class as we all start a new year full of excitement, To-Do lists, and anxiety!! 

 “Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.”
- Lao Tzu

This is also my theme song tomorrow.  So don't worry.... It's always a good time.


She is a Trampire!!

The Golden Eagle

This is the Golden Eagle.  I love this Eagle.  Love love love.   It is huge, gold, and sturdy.  It used to be in my Mom's office when she was at the state Capitol.  Very fitting.

Gator Guy hates it.  Hates.  So does my Dad.  They both wanted to see it off to a donation center death.  I was appalled. 

I have saved The Golden Eagle and gave it a new home in my classroom.  I am going to make my students tap the Golden Eagle for good luck before a test.  You know...kind of like the Notre Dame Sign.

Test like a champion today.  Test like a champion.

Bachelor Pad - We Need to Talk

Dear Bachelor Pad, 
I know this may come as a shock to you, and I will first apologize for catching you off guard...but we need to talk.  We have been through a lot.  I have watched every season and even made it though Vienna's debut without throwing up in my mouth.  You have captured my attention over the summer when there are meaningless shows such as Wipe Out and America's Got Talent.  You were my fix when I was missing the traditional Bachelor and Bachelorette.  And you gave me Chris Harrison when I was just starting to begin withdraws from his presence.  But even after all of that...I have to be honest and tell you that we just cannot be together anymore.  I just can't do it.

And no, it is not just a break for us to see other people.  This is it for me.  I seriously cannot do it anymore.  Gosh....even just saying that now gives me a sense of relief.  I am becoming a person that I never thought I would.  Your commitment of 2 hours is just too long for me now.  Maybe it is that I am more busy these days and have not made time for you.  Maybe it is my love for Ryan Lotche and the Olympics that I can't seem to pull myself from NBC another channel.  But honestly, this season is a disappointment.  I wish I could have my 2 hours back in my day.  I know you are even more dramatic than ever, but its just not how it used to be.  
Don't even get me started with the twins.  Michael said it best comparing them to mosquitoes in your ear.  It is either that or their fighting is the sound of dying cats.  I would rather listen to Radiohead on repeat for the rest of my life than listen to those two girls again (and Gator Guy can vouch for how serious that is for me!).  

And then Chris was the final straw for me.  There's always the top Dawg each season and Chris is trying to be just that.  At least before I could just feel bad for Kasey that his kermit voice and outrageous tattoos made him "special".  But with Chris...I just can't get past it.  It is bad enough that I just had to finish watching him on Emily's season.  I think I would need at least a month before seeing him on Monday nights again...if ever.  It's the way he talks, the way he thinks so highly of himself, his immaturity (oh wait - that's everyone on the show, right?) and his constipated-or-about-to-fall-asleep-face expressions that just confirms I cannot be with you any longer.   

I will miss our good times.  But I really feel good about this decision.  

And so, Bachelor Pad...I am sorry, but I cannot give you this rose.  Please allow me to walk you out.



Friday Jam: Circles

Thank B.o.B. for this awesome jam that I just can't get out of my head.  Perfect to take to the pool today!!!   Happy Friday!!!

Watch Out George Straight...

George Straight has got some competition if I must say myself.  Here's Mr. T singing "I Cross My Heart".  It is the same song that I sing to him before bed. 

I even hung part of the lyrics on his wall before he was born, so I suppose it is natural that this song is his debut.  Enjoy. 

GAFT: The Check Out System

During our GAFT episodes, I have realized the following:

You MUST (and I repeat MUST) have a "Check Out System".  I am not sure when Gator Guy and I officially started our Check Out System, but it is the only thing that keeps us sane. 

The Check Out System is when one parent is struggling like hell getting Mr. T to calm down and in turn getting frustrated, angry, upset or any other emotion we don't want Mr. T to do.  The other parent gives a look, a tap on the shoulder, or even verbally says "time to check out".  At that moment, parent #1 walks away... usually making no eye contact.  My preferred method is verbally while Gator Guy gives the look.  Fitting.

This works for us because it makes us realize that we are not alone, we BOTH get frustrated and it is not good for any parties involved if the parent is too worked up.  We've all been raise your voice at the toddler to make that point that they should not yell or scream.  Makes sense, right?  Hell no.  That's damn confusing for the little ones.   So the Check Out System is a necessity. 
Now,  if the Check Out System is not available where either both parents are so fired up to handle the situation or you are alone, then is it time to implement the Parent Time Out.  I remember using this one when Mr. T was just a babe and wouldn't stop crying.  I felt like a terrible mother that I had to sit in the bathroom downstairs with the door closed just to have a moment to breathe.  But it is what kept me sane.  A fellow Yogi reminded me of this technique this week.  She would say to her little one, "Honey, it is time for Mama to have a time out."  That is correct.  Mama needs a time out!!  Mr. T may be confused and he may just continue to cry it out, but the Mama Timeout already has served us well. 
Plus it gives me the perfect opportunity to pour a glass of brew.  Don't Judge.

GAFT: Round 2

GAFT continues to overpower us as of late.  And I wish there was a magic potion or something to relieve it.  I suppose if there was, we would have a million kids and no use for Mama Happy Hour. 

This week has been hard.  Perhaps we are STILL recovering from our awesome trip to Disneyland (post to come), or perhaps it is just the GAFT (God Awful Fucking Three's).  Either way, it is difficult. 

How are parents suppose to cope??  What solutions actually work???

We have tried the following:
1.  Firm rules
2.  Timeout
3.  Distractions
4.  Taking away beloved toys
5.  Bribery
6.  Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
7.  Cry it out
8.  Cars2
9.  Music
10.  Back rubs
11.  Food
12.  Water break

I am sure some of the expert parents in the world laugh at my list and see that the main thing lacking is consistency.  Whatever.  Screw you expert parents, because this shit can be hard. 

What eventually calmed down the most recent episode of GAFT was some Magic Music.  I explained to Mr. T that when he was a baby, I would play for him two very special songs and it would calm him down.  I have no idea how he heard me with all that screaming, but he was intrigued and wanted to hear the tunes.  So I played a remake of Bridge Over Troubled Waters by Quincy Coleman and Sweet Sweet Baby by Michelle Featherstone.  Worked like a least this time.  And I will store the Magic Music in my GAFT back pocket. 

GAFT: The God Awful Effing Three's

My boss once told me, "Screw the terrible 2's.  That's nothing.  It is the God-Awful-Fucking-Three's that is the real problem."  I remember laughing at him and recorded the quote in "Shit My Boss Says".  Yet another use for google docs  ;)

The other day I was reminded of my boss's quote. 

This is Mr. T after hysterically crying and throwing tantrums just about ALL FREAKING DAY. 

And YES...that is a PUDDLE OF PEE that he is sitting in.  It totally reminded me of when he smeared shit all over his crib.  I don't know which is worse.  A part of me felt bad that I took the picture, but all ready he says, "that's the day I was BAD."  Yes Mr. T, we all need to remind ourselves to not throw a fit and pee ourselves. 
And so, I officially introduce to you:  GAFT.  The God-Awful-Fucking-Three's.  He's got a seriously case of GAFT and I am just praying that the 4's are easier! 

Drunk Makeup Tutorial

I'm not sure how I have not come across Jenna already, but I think she's pretty damn funny.  Showed this to Gator Guy and his BFF and they were not impressed. Totally a girl thing. 

This is the video that first went viral. 

Mike in 3D??

I saw this ecard and thought it was hilarious and also very fitting since we just got back from Disneyland where 3D and 4D movies are around every corner.  Perhaps they will pass out those glasses at the theater I am going to.  Just Perhaps.
PS....too funny.

Love for Lochte

Ladies...have you seen the newest Vogue cover???  I seriously do a double take every time at the grocery to check out those abs and smile on Ryan Lochte. 

The good news...he is all set for the Olympics and with a major (friendly) rivalry with Michael Phelps he will get plenty of news coverage.  And I shall watch every moment of it. 

Hello USA Swimmers!!! Why hello there.

Even better....this guy is a Gator!!

Jam of the Week: Set Me Free

I heard this one a week or so ago at yoga and just L-O-V-E it.  I think it is "jammy".  The kind of jam I can dance around to when no one is around and pretend that I am part of the video singing my heart out.  And yes...this really does happen.  In fact, I'm a little surprised that I haven't been asked to be a background dancer or perhaps a tamborine or cow bell girl.   I suppose it is my fault for not sending in my audition videos because I promise you, some of the best concerts in town are at Kat & Gator Guy's Casa... when no one is watching!! 

Ice Ice Baby

Thanks to my new summers-off-schedule, I was able to head to a bar in the burbs Thursday night for a free concert by Vanilla Ice.  Yes...Vanilla Ice.  I started the night without a ticket to get upstairs and ended in the VIP section dancing on stage with The Ice. I'm pretty sure the other girls were all 18-21 but yes, me... the Mom with a 3-year-old rockin; my new white Old Navy beach pants was totally one of them. 
See the girls??  Yeah totally not me.  But I was right there. 
And see the creepy clown to the left of Ice??  There were two of them (both creepy as hell), and they splashed bottles of water on everyone.   Oh yes, this is totally my normal Thursday night.
I honestly don't know any of his other songs besides Ice Ice Baby, and I'm sure he knew that was the general consensus since that song lasted at least 10 minutes.  But I danced my little heart out. I was quite proud to represent my dorky dance moves and I had both V. Ice and some of the crowd doing one of my favorites.  You know...the cat eyes one from Pulp Fiction.  Yes, he totally did it and probably said to himself, WTF?!?!? 
FYI this dance move is called the Batusi from the old school Batman.  I know...your life is totally complete now. 
I also had to add in a few surfer moves on stage and then back on the dance floor.  It only makes sense in my mind, but yes, I look just about like this girl surfin' it out on the floor.  And for your future par-tay nights- if you are at a crowded dance floor it is by far the best way to give your group some space and keep the creepers off.  That or I totally smelled.  Either one, we had plenty of room to shake our groove thang. 

OME: The Final Twilight Trailer

Oh My Edward...the final trailer is here and released today in honor of Edward Cullen's 111th birthday. Cheesy??  Yes.  But super exciting??  Yes Yes Yes!   

Ryan: Born and Raised in the Capitol

I can't take credit for fact, you must go read, "If You Ask Me...", but it is quite hilarious that she pointed out how much Ryan looks like Seneca Crane from Hunger Games.  Ha!

My favorite line of the night was when he begged the camera guys to edit the clips to show his "true self" and not make him look like an ass.  

To late Ryan.  Too late.
Ps Ryan...your scarf sucks.  So did your teal shoes.

Friday Jam - Both of Us

I am totally diggin this one by B.o.B. and Taylor Swift.  Yes...I am sure some Bob fans are totally hating the fact that he partnered with the hot country blonde, but I am lovin it.  Happy Friday!!!

Operation Potty Train in One Day = Success

I feel pretty confident in saying that "Operation Potty-Train-in-One-Day" was a huge success.  Not only was Mr. T fantastic in public places just after our rigorous attempt to eliminate those diapers, but he is now sucessful through the night!! That is correct my friends.  My little man is officially Potty Trained. 

In fact, I don't think we have had any accidents in public.  Just a couple the week or so after Operation Potty-Train-in-One-Day around the house.  It is also a one man show as far as him getting underwear off, going potty, underwear back on, and washing hands.  I hardly need to go in there.  Pretty darn good, I must say.  

However, I say this with hesitation as I'm sure it will jinx a huge accident tonight.  Because let me tell you...Mr. T LOVES to eat.  Seriously.  I don't think 20 minutes go by without him asking for something to snack on.  I am just crossing my fingers that grandparents do not cave to his cute requests.  I am pretty sure we all know that the kiddo gets exactly what he wants! 

Mr. T is also pretty particular with his Potty Habits.  He now quickly asks, "Can you please shut the door and give me some privacy?"  Yes Sir!!  Everyone likes a little privacy when their are doing their business. I just laugh that he already requires it.  We also will forever laugh (to ourselves of course...don't want to encourage this when the kid is at school!!) when he looks down and says, "I Love You Penis."  Isn't that just what every man wishes he could verbally say each and every day???  Perhaps it is something that they whisper.  Either way ladies, we shall never know. 

The next hurdle to get over I believe....Operation Teach-This-Kid-to-Wipe-His-Own-Ass.  I don't think there needs to be any explanation with that one.  But I will tell you, I will celebrate  like the best of them when this has been accomplished. 

Another Lucky Double

In January, I was on a roll with doulbe yolk eggs.  It was just one after another and I felt like it was something lucky coming my way.  I even bought lotto tickets and was slightly disappointed when nothing happened right away.  However, now that it is June, I realized that luck was pretty darn good to me!!  I finished up my student teaching with two job offers!! And the second is at my DREAM SCHOOL.  Seriously...the place where I want to teach for my career. 

As me and my dearest E say...the stars are aligning. 

This morning I cracked open yet another double yolk.  Not sure what this one will bring, but I am certain it is something fabulous!!!

Some QB That I Used to Know

Even though my still-wishing-to-be-my-BFF is no longer in Denver, I still love seeing jokes, news, and parodies about him.  I'm still hoping that maybe Tebow just needs to come back to the Mile High City for some fresh Mt air and maybe even hit up our neighborhood pool.  Too much??  I know.  But a girl can daydream.

Btw....Gator Guy hates this original song.  And has Mr. T trained to recognize that it is "the bad song".  I like it.  And I especially love this viral video of these two kiddos.

Love Man

I'm quite random when it comes to my song downloads.  My most recent iTunes purchase, is Otis Redding - Love Man.  This is of course from Dirty Dancing.

You know...right after she carries in the watermelon and its time for some dir-tay dancing. 

Ps....i want this shirt. 

But this is the kind of song that really makes it feel like summer.  It makes me was to get in this.

And wish I was a 1960's surfer girl like this. 

Or this is just how I cruise around on my board like this.
Either way, summer is here and I am lovin it!! 

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